LA - Die Junkie Batman

So after saying goodbye to you bastards at the airport and running through the gate, id just like to state that i WAS in the right line, and rebeccas hysterical screaming laughter coming through the doors was of no help whatsoever.
United is officially the worst airline in the world. Aside from the fact that all americans are fat and i was squashed in between them, Captain BRADY did not stop talking or repeating uniteds tagline. There was a communal tv in front of me so everything was rated G. I got through most of Mumma Mia and then realised id rather swallow glass than watch Merryl Streep belt out another song about how many men shes slept with.
Fifteen hours and no friends later, I stumbled off the plane to meet a screaming and sugar highed tully. Next to her was our friend David, who we met one night out in Syd, waiting with his mercedes to drive us home. David decided that we'd go out that night in hollywood, and it wouldnt be a true experience unless we stayed in a hotel on hollywood blvd. i started laughing at this point and didn{t stop for the next two days.
We swanked up about 7 bars that were totally over the top and tried to hide the creases in our clothes from being shoved in backpacks. We ended up at a place called Koi shotting a $500 bottle of vodka and being completley innapropriate - travis walter brown style. We ordered food on god knows who's tab and ate it about as ladylike as a pack of starved buffalo. They invited us back to their hotel room for a bowl of coke and some hookers, but david politley declined.
Instead we went to the Roosevelt, where we were staying, and went to the club there. The night ended disgustingly drunk and with large burgers

i just fucked this spanish keyboard so now full stops dont work: my bad:

David had a triathalon the next day so tully and i unleashed ourselves on hollywood blvd. My favourite part are the bunch of disney characters that dress up for photos. They're all junkies who've either stolen or bought their costumes.. and people are paying them to pose with their kids. I had to tell Batman to fuck off after he scared the living shit out of us both by sneaking up behind us and spreading his wings. We turned around to darkness and this beef cakes face. I thought the world was ending.

We saw Twilight and explored LA's version of Oxford Street. David took us back to his house after paying for the hotel and the mini bar we raided when drunk.. he ended up vommiting for 12 hrs and then driving us to the airport to get on a plane to Mexico. Poor man. Tully and i almost accidentally drowned his dog as well. but that's another story.